Divorce and Its Implications: As Shared By A Family Lawyer From Tampa

There has been a surging rate in the number of divorce cases in Tampa and the rest of the country. The rising trend for divorce is not only an isolated case within the circle of celebrities as we often see in the television. Divorce has been increasingly moving closer to home.

According to a well-known family lawyer and divorce lawyer from Tampa, this phenomenon does not only affect the parents who are the main subjects of every divorce proceedings. It also has significant and oftentimes adverse effects on their children.

According to recent studies quoted by the divorce lawyer and family lawyer specializing on family law, dissolution of marriage, modifications, paternity, custody, visitation, and child support, only 60% of adult children whose parents have divorced actually get married. Of this percentage, an astounding 40% ends up getting a divorce, too. The figures are very alarming compared with the 9% divorce rate of children from non-divorced parents.

Of course, she adds, that there are also personal issues that attribute to these statistics. But these personal problems have been seen as constantly occurring to children with divorced parents. Such is the implication of the social phenomenon called divorce.

So why do people seek divorce in the first place? There are many reasons that can be cited, but our divorce lawyer from Tampa cited three most fundamental reasons and how couples can move away from them:

1. Lack of communication

This is perhaps the biggest reason of most couple who go their separate ways. As soon as the lines of communications fail, you are sure to place the marriage on the rocks. A person who cannot discuss their feelings, cannot talk about issues concerning his or herself, will have a hard time maintaining a relationship. As the family lawyer in Tampa has said, you cannot expect your partner to be able to read your mind and guess whatever it is that you are thinking or feeling about.

2. Improper conflict management

There are four cornerstones when it comes to creating conflict and managing it. these four are based on how to look at criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.

Couples who are bound to get irreconcilable differences are those who say these statements respectively: Who do you think you are? Why is it always about me, what about what you did, if you did any? You have no right to say that I am better than you! I can’t believe you are saying this!

Instead of focusing on these negative emotions, the family lawyer in Tampa recommend to focus on these thoughts instead: criticize constructively, take responsibility instead of being defensive and blaming others, cultivate culture of appreciation, and teach oneself to take 20 to 30 minutes time outs before making another round of argumentation.

3. Loss of intimacy

Intimacy is closely linked to open communication lines and it is an important factor for every relationship to work. Intimacy does not necessarily refer to sexual activities. In fact, some couple who may have an active sex life but who are intimate emotionally are more prone to separation.

--Muhammad Syazwan--

--504--

--5 Gemilang--

Computers and Education in America

In the last decade, computers have invaded every aspect of education, from kindergarten through college. The figures show that schools have spent over two billion dollars installing two million new computers. Recently, with the explosive increase of sites on the Internet, computers have taken another dramatic rise. In just five years, the number of Internet hosts has skyrocketed from 2 million to nearly 20 million. It is not uncommon for 6th graders to surf the Net, design their own home pages, and e-mail their friends or

strangers they have "met" on the Web. Computer literacy is a reality for many junior high students and most high school students.

In the midst of this technological explosion, we might well stop and ask some key questions. Is computer technology good or bad for education? Are students learning more or less? What, exactly, are they learning? And who stands to benefit from education's current infatuation with computers and the Internet?

In the debate over the virtues of computers in education, the technological optimists think that computers and the Internet are ushering us into the next literacy revolution, a change as profound as Gutenberg's invention of the printing press. In contrast, a much smaller but growing number of critics believe that cyberspace is not the ideal classroom. I agree with the critics. If you consider your own experience, you'll agree that the benefits of computer literacy are at best wildly overrated. At their worst, computers and the Internet pander to the short attention spans and the passive viewing habits of a young television generation.

The technological optimists sing a siren song of an enchanted new land where the educational benefits of computers and the Internet are boundless. First, they boast that children can now access information on every conceivable subject. If little Eva or little Johnny wants to learn about far-away cultures, they can access sites from their own homes that will teach them about the great languages and cultures of the world. Second, these starry-eyed optimists warble about how the Internet has created a truly democratic space, where all children--rich, poor, black, white, and brown--have equal access to information and education. Third, they claim that computers will allow students to have e-mail

conversations with experts on any subject around the world. 

No longer will students be limited by their own classroom, their teacher, or their environment. Distance learning is the wave of the future, and classrooms will become obsolete or at least optional. In the words of John Sculley, former CEO of Apple Computer, the new technologies have created an "avalanche of personal creativity and achievement" and they have given students the "ability to explore, convey, and create knowledge as never before." Children who used to hate going to school will now love to learn to read and write, to do math and science. They will voluntarily spend hours learning on the Web instead of being bored to death by endless books and stodgy teachers.

Sound too good to be true? Let's examine these claims, one by one. First, promoters of

computer learning are endlessly excited about the quantity of information available on the Internet. The reality, however, is quite a different story. If you've worked on the Internet, you know that finding and retrieving information from a Web site can sometimes be tedious and time consuming. And once you find a site, you have no idea whether the information will be valuable. Popular search engines such as Yahoo! are inefficient at finding relevant information, unless you just want to buy a book on Amazon.com or find

a street map for Fargo, North Dakota. Information is definitely available on the Web, but the problem is finding relevant, reliable, and non-commercial information.

Next, the optimists claim that the Internet is truly a democratic space with equal access for

everyone.

 Again, the reality falls short. First, access to an Internet provider at home costs over a hundred dollars a month, once you add up service and long distance fees. And then there's the technology barrier--not every person has the skills to navigate the Web in any but the most superficial way. Equal access is still only a theoretical dream, not a current reality.

Finally, computers do allow students to expand their learning beyond the classroom, but the distance learning is not a utopia. Some businesses, such as Hewlett Packard, do have mentoring programs with children in the schools, but those mentoring programs are not available to all students. Distance learning has always been a dream of administrators, eager to figure out a cheaper way to deliver education. They think that little Eva and Johnny are going to learn about Japanese culture or science or algebra in the evening when they could be talking with their friends on the phone or watching television. As education critic Neil Postman points out, these administrators are not imagining a new technology but a new kind of child: "In [the administrator's] vision, there is a confident and typical sense of unreality. Little Eva can't sleep, so she decides to learn a little algebra? Where does little Eva come from? Mars?" Only students from some distant planet would prefer to stick their nose in a computer rather than watch TV or go to school and be with their friends.

In addition to these drawbacks are other problems with computers in education. There is the nasty issue of pornography and the rampant commercialism on the Internet. Schools do not want to have their students spend time buying products or being exposed to pornography or pedophiles. Second, the very attractiveness of most Web sites, with their color graphics and ingenious links to other topics, promotes dabbling and skimming. The word "surfing" is appropriate, because most sites encourage only the most surface exploration of a topic. The Internet thus accentuates what are already bad habits for

most students: Their short attention spans, their unwillingness to explore subjects in depth, their poor reading and evaluation skills. Computers also tend to isolate students, to turn them into computer geeks who think cyberspace is actually real. Some students have found they have a serious and addictive case of "Webaholism," where they spend hours and hours on the computer at the expense of their family and friends. Unfortunately, computers tend to separate, not socialize students. Finally, we need to think about who has the most to gain or lose from computers in the schools. Are administrators getting more students "taught" for less money? Are big companies training a force of computer worker bees to run their businesses? Will corporate CEO's use technology to isolate and control their employees?

In short, the much ballyhooed promise of computers for education has yet to be realized.

Education critic Theodore Roszak has a warning for us as we face the brave new world of computer education:

Like all cults, this one has the intention of enlisting mindless allegiance and acquiescence. People who have no clear idea of what they mean by information or why they should want so much of it are nonetheless prepared to believe that we live in an Information Age, which makes every computer around us what the relics of the True Cross were in the Age of Faith: emblems of salvation.

I think if you examine your own experience with computers, you'll agree that the cult of computers is still an empty promise for most students. Computers, the Internet, and the Web will not magically educate students. It still must be done with reading, study, good teaching, and social interaction. Excellence in education can only be achieved the old fashioned way--students must earn it.

--Muhammad Syazwan 504--

hari raya at my hometown

After 30 days of dawn-to-dusk fasting during Ramadan, the first three days of Hari Raya Aidilfitri are celebrated on a grand scale. While Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebrations are colourful and fascinating, you should take note that the fasting month leading up to the holiday is probably the best time to experience the Malay culture and heritage.

For Muslims, the month of Ramadan is devoted to worship, charitable deeds and acts of compassion. To purify one’s body and soul, they practice abstinence from food and drink during the day. When the sun sets, families and friends often gather to break the fast with evening prayers and meals, and the streets of Geylang Serai and Kampong Glam come alive with performances and street bazaars. If you’re in Singapore during Ramadan, this is the best times to soak in the festivities. Head to the Malay Village in Geylang Serai or make your way to Kampong Glam, an area that was once home to Singapore’s Malay royalty. Both ethnic enclaves attract Singaporeans of all races, and wherever you’re from, you’re welcome to take part in the celebrations.

Besides the glittering street light-ups and traditional decorations, you’ll find street stalls that open from early afternoon till late into the night, selling a wide variety of traditional food, fashion, textiles and handicrafts. From tailor-made traditional dresses known as ‘baju kurung’ to hand-woven cushion covers, from affordable Persian carpets to delightful flower arrangements, you’re bound to find a keepsake of the festivities. In Geylang Serai, you’ll also find stalls that personalise key chains and door signs for the home, all engraved and painted by hand on finely-crafted wood.

The main attraction of the bazaars is, of course, the food. A trip to the bazaars is simply not complete without sampling the variety of traditional Malay cakes and pastries called ‘kueh-kueh’. Take your pick from sweet snacks like pineapple tarts, ‘ondeh-ondeh’ made with palm sugar filled centres, and ‘putu piring’, a steamed dessert served with grated coconut.

When Hari Raya Aidilfitri arrives, Muslim families often dress in the same colour to signify their unity. The men wear a loose shirt with trousers known as ‘baju Melayu’ and the women wear the quintessential ‘baju kurung’. If you’re lucky enough, you might get an invite to a home-cooked Hari Raya Aidilfitri feast. A wide variety of spicy dishes are traditionally served during the three-day celebration, including spicy beef ‘rendang’, vegetable curry ‘sayur lodeh’ and Malay rice cakes called ‘ketupat’.

If you’re in Singapore during Ramadan, don’t miss the opportunity to experience the rich Malay heritage, and when Hari Raya Aidilfitri comes around, greet everyone with a joyous “selamat Hari Raya”.

by : nu'aim 504